i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Randomize
