I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
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