i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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