Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
