this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
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