You're completely useless in the revolution.
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Randomize
