Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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