No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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