Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
