How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Randomize
