i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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