I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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