took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
