i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
well you can't waste a boner
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
