Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
