I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Randomize
