But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
