Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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