is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
