at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Church boner. Awkwardddd
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
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