do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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