the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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