Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Randomize
