had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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