can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
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