it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Randomize
