the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
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