Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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