come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Randomize
