It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
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