blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
