So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
