i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
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