i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
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