So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
just tell him i said nine months
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
