Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Randomize
