Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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