Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
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