The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize
