watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
the room spins SO much faster in panama
I booty called her while she was in labor.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
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