Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
