Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize
