is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Randomize
