i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Randomize
