so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Randomize
