hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
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