I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
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