She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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