Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
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