Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
