i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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