STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
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