Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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