you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
